Tuesday, 15 November 2011

I'm on a break OK?!

This last couple of weeks has been busy! We have seen my radiotherapy sessions and chemotherapy treatments come to an end for now.  Phase 2 begins on 12th December with double dose chemotherapy for 5 days a month, possibly for 4-6 months.  For now I'm enjoying not being tied to a drug regimen with specific times for eating and not eating, this drug then, and that drug later... it gets a bit tedious!

As much as I enjoyed seeing the ladies (and the occasional man!) at Radiotherapy, I will enjoy just as much NOT to have to see them again, and this sentiment they fully understood and agreed with.  The service (I guess it was a kind of service) there was unsurpassed, and they were a great team to lean on for advice or kind words when needed.  They asked me to apply for a place in the "Look Good, Feel Better" programme which takes place next week - and I have since discovered that my bestie Nicci has been invited to attend too which I'm super excited about!

The end of these sessions have meant the end of the disastrous weekly blood tests... also for now, but towards the end I was a terrible trouble to get blood out of... standard practice for me is 3 tries in different areas and the last lot came from the back of my hand, very slowly!

My Oncologist spared me the very last weeks test as my counts were "better than good" and I had heaps of reserves to go on before anything would become amiss - Thank goodness for that!  We do have a waiting game on our hands however. Unless anything symptomatic begins to show, I won't be scanned until February or March next year... just seems like such a long way away!

Tim and I had a nice evening at my end of year work function on Friday night - was lovely to see everyone and 'test' out my new hair - those who didn't know did just think that I'd had a haircut and colour... Success!!

I am feeling in a good space once again, and I have my beautiful Mum and family to thank for it.  I was concerned about being 'sad' around them, but they have shown their true strength and support for me and for that I am eternally grateful.

I have started back at work - just two 4 hour stints per week to begin with, testing the energy levels and see how I go.  the first day back was very very strange for me... it was the last place I was before all the hospital drama, AND it was the first time I had been away from any family member since the 25th August as they have been by my side the whole way.  I spent the most part of that day in a panic and was exhausted at the end of it, but have since been back and thoroughly enjoyed myself - it won't take long to be back into the swing of things!

I also went back to school yesterday for a part day - it was lovely to see the girls again and help with the planning of our last phase of the programme - an overnight stay on a marae organised solely by our class, a huge undertaking but will be a bit of fun and a fitting finale to three years of hard slog!

I nearly feel brave enough to attack the remainder of my hair with scissors to tidy it up... I'm over the bald patchy 'mad professor' (thanks Patrick) look now and want to make it a bit more even.  If Toby wasn't so concerned about me having no hair I'd take it all off and see what the shape of my head really looks like!  I may still be able to talk him around to it, if I go shorter bit by bit we might get there!

On a bright note it has stopped falling out and my skin hasn't felt sore or dry or anything like they said might happen... maybe it's on its way?

I've been researching more on the natural treatments for my condition and have found a few rainbows - the Budwig Centre in Spain has some excellent testimonials on all types of 'c' and have been in touch via email to organise a more personalised service/programme which will be interesting to try - I've got so long to wait for a scan and I want to make sure I kick this thing in the guts (head?!) in the meantime.

We lost my wonderful Grandad yesterday, very sad but another blessing and we are thankful he is at peace.  A massive seizure last week impaired his function badly and ruined half of his brain, he spent the week fighting but passed peacefully in the night.  All the family have gathered from far and wide, and despite the circumstances it was wonderful to see all of them as it is so infrequently we are all together at the same time - typical of weddings and funerals though I think.

Toby and I are off to another stint at Karate tonight, and Cherie and I are off to Aqua aerobics tomorrow night - all this fun stuff has to be good for me somewhere along the line...

Until next time xxx

Wednesday, 2 November 2011


is coming back.

From a rough few days, I am starting to see the turnaround.

For me I think the combination of coming down off the steroids, the passing of Aunty Jan (from cancer), and the tiredness of the treatment kicked in all in the same week and it was shite.  I leaned on my family and friends for support, and it proved to me that my support networks are in full swing - ready and able to step into action if and when needed.

A little while back I a newspaper article found me (it really did) and I have kept it on my desk ever since.  It was a list of  rules and tips for life, written by a 90 year old.  I can only hope to get to that age, but a few of the suggestions rang true for me this last week:

* It's okay to get angry with God.  He can take it.
* Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
* Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
* Take a deep breath. It calms the mind
* No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
* When in doubt, just take the next small step.
* Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. 
  Today is special.
* Time heals almost everything.  Give time time.
* ALWAYS choose life.

The last one is so important to me as I fight this battle with all I've got. I've got sooo much to live for and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon thank you very much!

I have 3 more radiotherapy treatments left to go plus my chemo tablets until next Monday evening then I have a whole 4 weeks off - I am looking forward to getting back into work for the mornings, and back to class... both of which I have dearly missed!

Love, light, laughter and hugs xxx